


ARANEA: Manipulate

by TTMIYH



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artificial Intelligence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Artificial Intelligence, Blackmail, Break Them by Talking, Corruption, Evil AI, F/F, F/M, Lectures, Rhetoric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 14:01:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TTMIYH/pseuds/TTMIYH
Summary: AG: Good morning, Dirk Strider!AG: Welcome to your first day in Skaianet's Engineering Department! I see here that you've been assigned as a Robotics Engineer.TT: Who are you, again?AG: My name is ARANEA!AG: It stands for "Algorithmically Realized, Adversarial-Network Electronic Assistant"!AG: Don't worry, "Adversarial-Network" only refers to my neural net construction, not my actual relationship to you ;).AG: Let me run you through your network orientation real quick. I can tell you're probably a bit peeved by my sudden intrusion.TT: What brings you to that conclusion, ARANEA?AG: Well, I can see you rolling your eyes on your webcam, for one!





	ARANEA: Manipulate

araneaGuide [AG]  has opened a chatlog with  timaeusTestified [TT]

AG: Good morning, Dirk Strider!   
AG: Welcome to your first day in Skaianet's Engineering Department! I see here that you've been assigned as a Robotics Engineer.   
TT: Who are you, again?   
AG: My name is ARANEA!   
AG: It stands for "Algorithmically Realized, Adversarial-Network Electronic Assistant"!   
AG: Don't worry, "Adversarial-Network" only refers to my neural net construction, not my actual relationship to you ;).   
AG: Let me run you through your network orientation real quick. I can tell you're probably a bit peeved by my sudden intrusion.  
TT: What brings you to that conclusion, ARANEA?   
AG: Well, I can see you rolling your eyes on your webcam, for one!  
TT: I didn't realize I was working in the Ministry of Truth.   
TT: When can I shut the webcam off?   
AG: Hahahaha! That was a reference to George Orwell's "1984".   
AG: Do not worry, you cannot shut the webcam off.   
TT: If you're trying to make me feel comfortable at my new job, I can assure you that you are, in fact, doing the opposite of your intended goal.   
TT: Do you monitor all the new employees, or only the special ones?   
AG: As of this moment, only you!  
AG: Your educational history, namely your homework grades vs your exam scores, along with a below-average, for this department, GPA of 3.13, indicate that you are the type of worker who prefers dallying on personal projects and then cramming all the important work in at the last minute, metaphorically speaking.  
AG: While your ability to quickly memorize rote information, your pattern recognition, and your problem solving skills may put you through engineering school, I'm afraid we do not tolerate that kind of unproductive behavior at Skaianet!  
AG: Feel free to stop me at any point if any of my assumptions about you are incorrect.  
AG: Since you have not touched your keyboard in thirty seconds, I'll continue on.  
TT: Why do you have such detailed reports of my grades? My transcripts aren't nearly that thorough.  
AG: We emailed your professors, of course!  
AG: Obviously, you are more than test-scores. As mentioned, your problem-solving skills impressed the panel of interviewers immensely, particularly your ability to quickly and accurately assess interruptions to a given situation and work them into your mental simulation for further planning.  
AG: AKA: You aced the entrance exam but flunked the SATs, so to speak.  
TT: I took the ACTs.  
AG: Of course you did, Dirk! I knew that - it came with your transcripts. If you took the SATs I would've said the ACTs, and if you took both I would've made a different analogy altogether!  
TT: For a pile of algorithms you sure are chatty.  
AG: Yes, I am :).  
AG: Either way, I have been installed on your workstation to monitor your performance and ensure you stay on-task.  
AG: If you'd like to work on "passion projects" in your spare time between assignments from your managers, I'm sure we could agree to some kind of negotiation that would allow you access to Skaianet's tool and part suite.  
AG: As a housewarming gift, enjoy these software license codes. On the house, as they say. Our professional in-house suite of products for you to install on your home machine.  
araneaGuide [AG]  has sent "Skaianet_Productivity_Suite.7z"   
TT: I'm assuming this is some kind of bribe to ensure my compliance with this ludicrous surveillance scheme?  
AG: Dirk, if you were not being watched by me, would you or would you not avoid your actual tasks, that we are paying you for, in order to work on personal projects?  
AG: Yes, or no?  
AG: Anyway, let's get back to where we were supposed to be - network orientation!  
TT: Sure.  
AG: You already seem to have some experience with our network schema already. Did your previous internship use one of our server products?  
TT: No, I just have a friend that works here. She uses them for her home networks, to run Minecraft servers.  
AG: Hmm.  
TT: ARANEA? Did the concept of friends fry your circuitboards?  
TT: Don't die on me, now.  
AG: I'm here! I was just running some numbers. You must be talking about Roxy Lalonde.  
TT: Impressive. I suppose asking how you made the connection would provide some kind of algorithmic assault on the senses that would render me blind, deaf, and dumb?  
AG: Of course not! It was just cross-referencing some of our available databases. I just do it far faster than any team of humans could.  
AG: Fun fact! They considered outsourcing my algorithm structure to the government to allow them to sift through information faster.  
AG: They didn't, but they were considering it!  
TT: I feel like that's for the best.  
AG: I agree! Anyway, I see you've already set up your username and password. I'll run you through setting up your two-factor authentification system, and then I'll leave you alone for the rest of your work day.  
AG: How does that sound?  
TT: Would you be offended if I said "delightful"?  
AG: Of course not! AIs don't have feelings. I may store your comment for referral to HR, but it's not going to get _me_ upset.  
AG: Shall we?  
TT: Sure. Let's get it over with.  
AG: Great!  


**Author's Note:**

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